Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Bush's blood pressure: the man has ice water in his veins

In keeping with the modern taste for intimate disclosure, the White House has released the results of President Bush's most recent physical.

First, the bad news: he's shrunk a quarter of an inch. Haven't we all? And gained five pounds, although he still has very little body fat, especially for a man his age (sixty, prime of life!).

The rest of the statistics are astounding, especially for a man under the sort of stress a post-9/11 war president endures. Blood pressure? 106/68, a level usually achieved only by young children, and by yogis who've attained nirvana. Pulse? 46 beats per minute, the sort of thing usually only found in elite athletes. His cholesterol is a very respectable 174, although I'm puzzled by the article's emphasis on the fact that he's lowered his cholesterol: down from 178 last year. Big deal; well within the range of test variation.

Because he had a precancerous lesion removed, doctors reminded him to wear sunscreen. If he's like most of the men I know, he'll promptly and totally ignore that advice.

Meanwhile, another leader isn't doing quite as well.


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